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by highlyannoying



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types, Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan, The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan
Genre: Angst, Blood, Injury, Multi, violence implied
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-23
Updated: 2015-09-23
Packaged: 2018-04-23 00:41:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,236
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4856609
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/highlyannoying/pseuds/highlyannoying
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He’d like to say he handled himself with tact. That this was easier the second time, that he knew exactly what to say to make everything better. But he didn’t.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Home

He’d like to say he handled himself with tact. That this was easier the second time, that he knew exactly what to say to make everything better. But he didn’t. 

His hands are pressed to his stomach and gods, there is so much blood, there’s no way he can stop it all. There’s another pair of hands pressed to his stomach as well— Jason’s. Piper’s digging through their backpack like her life depends on it. Don’t be stupid, he wants to say, it’s just my life. 

“It’s fine,” he says instead, even though his voice crack and gods, he is so scared. He’s terrified, and there’s so much blood, and he knows neither of them will accept that, but he tries anyway. “It’s fine, guys, don’t bother, it’s fine, I’m fine, everything is—”

“Like hell,” snaps Jason, and Leo is ten times more scared of Jason’s stormy expression than he is of the blood pooling over his hands, Jason’s hands ( he’s scared, it hurts, he’s scared, it hurts, oh gods, why does it hurt so much? ). Jason’s gaze softens slightly when he meets Leo’s. “You are not getting away from us that easily.”

“We’re not losing you again.” Piper’s voice is so powerful he finds himself nodding, and he wonders if she talk the blood back into his body because he can feel his clock ticking down and god, why is this so much worse. “Eat this.” Piper offers him ambrosia and he takes it, knowing full well it’ll barely do anything. He makes the mistake of looking down at his stomach and nearly throws up. Gods, he’s so scared, he’s so scared, is this how death was meant to be like? Were you supposed to leave scared and in pain?

“I don’t wanna die,” he says suddenly, “Dying hurts. I don’t wanna die, guys, it hurts, you have no idea how much it hurts, why does it hurt so much more—”

“Leo,” says Piper again, “You’re not dying.”

Leo nods, and he thinks the flow of blood has lessened, but there’s so much— is it too much? When is it too much? Everything is so hazy and he can’t make out Piper and Jason— Gods, he doesn’t want to die alone. 

“I can’t… guys I…” He leans forward, and his head hits something (Jason’s purple shirt is right in front of his face— is he leaning on Jason? No, no, he wants to look at them, wants to see Piper and Jason), and Jason and Piper are both saying something, but he keeps talking. “This isn’t… I thought I… I thought I would be ready, but I don’t wanna die. I don’t wanna die alone… I…” He’s being moved, and he’s squinting up at the sky, suddenly. The pressure on his stomach has gotten more, but he doesn’t think he’s trying to hold in blood himself anymore. “Gods, I’m so… so s— so sorry, I didn’t… you shouldn’t…” 

He can’t form words, he can barely see, this isn’t what’s supposed to happen. He wants a goodbye, he wants to tell them everything he never said, he wants to apologize for being so stupid, wants to say sorry because he knows they’ll have too much false hope but he can’t come back a second time.

He’s really fucking blown it this time. He laughs, but the sound shakes him and suddenly the dull pain sharpens again, and he’s crying. “I need… say… say goodbye, but I… I can’t…”

“Leo,” says Piper, “Look at me.” Suddenly, the world is crystal clear, and he can see how Jason’s face has crumbled from stormy to scared, he can see the tears behind Piper’s gaze and hear the crack in her voice. “Say what you want to. You can do it.” 

“I’m sorry,” he starts, and then he can’t stop, because he can speak through the pain and he doesn’t know how long it will last so he needs to say everything at once. “I blew it, I’m sorry, I’ll miss you, this isn’t your fault, it’s not— I’m sorry you have to mourn me twice. You deserve better than that. I love you. Don’t… I love you. I love you, I love you, I love you—” He’s repeating the words and they’re becoming slurred, and he’s so fucking scared, but he needs this to be the last thing they hear, just like they needed to last time.

_I love you I love you I love you._

They’re getting distant again and he wants to cry out that he can’t see them but he can’t, so he shuts his eyes tight as soon as they start to blur again, burning the image of the two of them, staring at him, onto his eyelids. 

_I love you I love you I love you._

Gods, they’d just gotten everything sorted too, and now it hurt more, didn’t it? It hurt more now that they were his best friends, his boyfriend, his girlfriend, the two people he’d trust till the end of the whole fucking universe. He wants things to be right but his chest is heavy and he can’t make out words and the pain isn’t dulling, isn’t it supposed to dull?

_I love you I love you I love you._

He’s going to miss them. He tries to think about what they’re like, what it feels like to have Jason loop and arm around his waist, to have Piper press a kiss to his cheek, gods, did he ever fuck up a good thing with this. He’s dying, and he’s screwing them up a second time.

_I love you I love you I love you._

Too distant. Too distant. Fuck. Disjointed thoughts race through his mind. Meeting Piper at Wilderness. _Hey, don’t insult my ability to annoy._ Their first stupid date. Jason coaxing him away from work with a kiss (what a cheater), Piper holding his hand and squeezing it tightly. _By the way, I love you guys._ Gods, that had hurt, but not like this. This was too slow, too slow.

_I love you I love you I love you._

He’s so sorry. He’s so sorry. He prays to every god, even the ones that hate him, that’s they’ll let him into Elysium so he can see Jason and Piper when they’re dead, years and years from now.

He prays to every god they die peacefully, not like this, that they never have to experience this fear that makes him want to scream, the pain that’s sending tear tracks down his face, he doesn’t want anything like this for either of them. 

_I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you._

And then it’s gone. Everything is gone, and the last thing he has hold of before he’s gone too is is a heavy feeling in his chest and a memory of Jason and Piper in better times. Jason, with his glasses on crooked, and Piper, braiding and unbraiding her hair, and they’re all laughing. And they’re together. They're together and it feels more like home than any space he's ever lived in before, because suddenly he lived in the spaces in their fingers and the pauses between their breaths, they lived in his laugh and he lived in their smiles, and—

_I love you. I love you._

_Together._

_They were my home,_ he thinks, and then the world turns black.

**Author's Note:**

> No one beta'd this, and I only kinda skim proof-read it so?? It's probably full of mistakes. But hopefully, it is also full of sadness, which is always the goal. And also: I'm so bad at tagging on ao3 help me


End file.
